In spite of my academic obligations I occasionally get to read something just for pure enjoyment. Today I started The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. This old man dies and consequently finds that in heaven you meet 5 people from your life who you have vastly affected {whether you knew it in life or not} and 1 by 1 they teach you what the meaning of your life was based on the incidences you had with them. I’m about halfway through; it’s pretty good so far. The last thing I read: “All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of the handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” Well never mind that parents pass on quite pleasant attributes as well, huh. Hey Mom- thanks for teaching me to be well-rounded and giving me bootylicious DNA. Pops- thanks for teaching me to not always take things at face value and the importance of reliability.
Nonetheless, it reminds me of how much responsibility it takes to raise a child. (As a future educator, it boggles my mind that teachers get paid so little considering all that we expect from them and entrust to them.) Some of my friends have children now and it’s interesting to see how it has changed them, or somewhat regrettably, not changed them. At any rate, it’s just as easy to pass along bad habits as it is good; children in their own right are incredible little people. Parents do the best they can to teach their children well {cue the CSN&Y}but if the parents are dipshits, their best efforts most likely turn out yet another generation of dipshits. How do you learn to be a parent but from your own experiences?
* Albom, Mitch D. The Five People you Meet in Heaven. Hyperion, 2003
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3 comments:
I have a friend who had a difficult childhood who is now a parent. In her childhood she experienced her parents divorce at an early age. From custody battles to being adopted by her grandmother and then later being put in foster care, she experienced more negativity then I could imagine. Amongst other bad experiences with so-called friends and family, she still had to deal with the "normal" pressures of being a girl in America, with ADD.
But let me tell you, my friend is an amazing woman AND mother. She is strong and beautiful. She loves her children with everything she has and would never accept the possibility of causing or observing such turmoil in their lives.
I think everyone learns from their life experiences but it's those who change them for the better when the shoes are on their feet. I believe they make life worth living.
I wish that more people were able to turn their negative experiences into inspiration to give their children better like your friend. I didn't mean to say that it always turns out like that if it sounded that way.
I do think that our parents can leave a mark on us...especially on our hearts and on our minds...in the sense that sometimes they influence the way we think by their actions. I also know that there are way more extreme situations than what my brother and I have went through with our parents. What I have learned is that we have a choice. We have a choice to play the victim and let our parents determine who we become as a person. It isn't easy. I definitely know that. I have a bitterness in my heart because of my relationship with my father, but will I continue to let that affect all of my relationships? No way. I choose a way to live that I know is the right way for me. I am learning from my father's mistakes...and hopefully from the one big mistake my mom made.
Okay, enough ramble.
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